Christ and the church, my life and satisfaction

I am a thirty-four year old engineer responsible for managing software development and support. I was born into a Christian family in the local church. I was six years old when I heard the story of the Lord Jesus who died on the cross for my sins. As a young boy, I was touched deeply by His love and consecrated myself to Him.

My dedication to the Lord was frustrated because as I grew older, I found that I just could not do what He wanted. I was a very impatient, bad-tempered, proud, and self-righteous person. I just could not be a patient, loving, and humble person. My heart was pulled in many directions and eventually I gave up my effort and backed down from my consecration. I pursued many other things to find happiness. I did well in school and on the job. I had many friends and tried various things to fill up the emptiness within me. But nothing worked. Deep within me was a cry for something real and eternal, not just those fleeting moments of temporary satisfaction. The things I learned as a child constantly reminded me that there is no real happiness and satisfaction beside the Lord. My life is without meaning if it is not for Him.

I started going to the meetings of the local church again. What really touched me was the genuine love of the brothers and sisters. They received me as a brother in Christ, not caring about my behavior and condition. It mattered not to them if I said the wrong thing, disappeared without a reason, or even slept in the meetings. They were just happy to see me every time I met with them. I began to realize their care for me was real and genuine and the source of their love was just Christ. They helped me to enjoy Christ as my life and they led me to experience the church as my living. I did not need to pretend or struggle to be a person I was not. I just needed to open to the Lord, allowing Him to fill me with His life. In this life there is love, patience, humility, and genuineness.

It’s been a few years now since I came back to the Lord and the local church. I am really happy and satisfied with my dear Lord Jesus. Both my wife and I can testify that He is the center and the anchor of our lives and our marriage. We realize that He is our Lord, and He is the real Head of our family. We are most satisfied when we are with the brothers and sisters enjoying Christ in the church. We need Him and we depend on Him every moment as our life, life supply, and everything.